Fallen!

So I heard the very sad news of yet another minister who had a “moral failure”. He had fallen!

I don’t know him; don’t think I ever met him, but my heart breaks! I don’t excuse the sin. That is between the man, the Lord and those whom he served. I pray that there is repentance and restoration. I will leave that to those who are over him in the Lord.

My question is what did you expect?

Most of our men and women in full time ministry have no legitimate means of confessing struggles and temptations in their lives. Who can they turn to and trust to counsel and pray, but not judge, condemn or turn them in? Who?

I am blessed that my wife and I have that type of relationship. I also share that type of relationship with a few guys as well. It is important to note that those guys are not in my denomination and some aren’t even in the ministry. You see it’s safer that way.

We have created a standard for those in ministry that is near impossible to reach or maintain. No one is above temptation, but in ministry there is a presumption of perfection. Of spiritual maturity that keeps us above the fray of mortal men. Personally I hold both the ministry and the laity responsible. The laity wants to believe that there pastor is infallible because then they don’t need faith. They can simply take everything the “perfect preacher” says and not have to think for themselves. And of course, there are those ministers who enjoy this power and control. It allows them to do what they want when they want without having to answer to anyone, because after all they’ve “heard from God”!

One problem, among many, with this hierarchy, is that if you are perfect you don’t need help. If you admit you aren’t perfect than you obviously shouldn’t be a pastor! The classic catch 22!

You may be thinking that this is ridiculous; obviously your pastor isn’t “perfect”! You would never think such a thing! Yet, if he or his family shows the least sign of weakness they are ridiculed, roasted or run out of the church on a rail.

Some pastors may also resent some of the accusations I’ve made here and I can understand that too. Let me ask this. If you’re not perfect and you don’t presume to be, where do you go when you are tempted? You are not perfect, so you are tempted … to whom do you turn for help, counsel, rebuke, exhortation and advice? If you are not living the charade than you already know who these folk are in your life because you’ve already used them.

If you don’t have such people then don’t rest until you have found someone you can trust with anything! Find someone who will hold you accountable without hanging you out to dry. Do it now before it is too late because very soon you will be tempted and if you have no one to turn to YOU WILL FALL!

While we are at it let us please remember the adage, “if not for the grace of God, there go I”. Let our hearts fill with compassion and let us act with love toward those who have lost a battle. Let us reach them before we lose them. Otherwise, we will be the next to say, “Help, I’ve fallen!”

Our dog Ada is brilliant! Like most German Shepherds she is smart and eager to please. She loves to work and she gets in trouble if she isn’t kept busy or challenged. The one point where she just doesn’t get is that she tells on herself! No, really! If she gets into something or a hold of something that she isn’t suppose to she doesn’t run and hide. No! She slinks in to the room where we are with her tale between her legs. You can always tell by the way she is acting that she has Jackson’s toy or Jaime’s sock. I’m not complaining mind you. It makes life more simple, but it’s a little pathetic for such a smart animal! If you don’t believe me look at this picture.

GSD pacifist!

You just don’t expect a smart dog to be that dumb! Although I find all too often that I struggle with the same tendencies. I believe that God is able! I believe that He is and He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him! I believe He is able to supply all my needs according to His riches in glory! I believe that when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death he is with me. I know it’s true because His rod and His staff have comforted me there! I know that He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. I know this because I have eaten at that table and enjoyed the fruit of fellowship with Him when all Hell seemed like it was coming against me.

Yet …

at times I still come slinking around the corner when he calls with the evidence of my doubt, despair, fear, etc., paraded before Him. I know that I shouldn’t look with fleshly eyes only. I know I should trust in that which I can not see, but I know is so very real! I know I should expect the unexpected. That contrary to all life my throw at me and the chaos that may surround me, I know that He is in control! I know, I just forget!

Like this week when we finished our budget for July and we realized that baby formula would “eat up” literally half of it! I know that He knows and that He has a plan. I know, but I forget. Then the next day my wife is literally given the equivalent of $1,111 worth of formula!

That’s when I feel like the dog! Caught with my guilt hanging from my mouth! Red handed in my lack of faith!

Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

So my buddy Tony over at muddiedwaters has a list he puts out on Thursday’s called Thursday’s 5. This weeks was a list of what he misses in life. So I commented and when I got to my number 5 I realized I would rather ponder it here where I could expound without fear of well, anything. So here it is:

I miss the point!

It seems that in all the noise and hysteria of life, I wonder if I/we haven’t all missed it? I’ve heard debates about “the point” before in churches.

“We are here to worship!”

“No, we are here to win souls!”

Personally, I think the answer is yes and no! We do worship and we are to win souls, but is that really “the point”? Did God purchase and pardon us just so we can all stand around here on earth or around His throne in heaven singing Cum Ba Ya? Won’t that get old after a while? I mean after we all sing, throw down our crowns and dance a while … what then?

I’m not trying to be sacrilegious, but I know folks that act as if that is all there is or is ever going to be and I don’t get it. Does God really need or want people continuously saying how awesome He is? Doesn’t He know that?

Or …

Is it all about witnessing and winning souls? That’s good! It’s awesome! It’s important! But then what? Is this life just about this life? Or is it a part of the process of preparing us for eternity? “Jesus came to seek and save that which was lost!” I’ve quoted it myself and I believe it, but is that IT? Is that “the point”? Was there nothing beyond his desire to see His lost sheep rescued?

I love worship and firmly believe in the necessity of evangelism! However, I think that we may have put the focus in the wrong place. I think “the point” is relationship.

Wow! I know probably not a great revelation, but isn’t that what worship and evangelism are both about? Worship is our relationship with HIM. While evangelism is helping others find their relationship with HIM.

So worship and evangelism both flow out of relationship. So heaven won’t be one big worship service as much as it will be the beginning of life with the one we were meant for. Not the end of life, but the beginning of Real LIfe and Real relationship.

Or maybe I’m off base …

I just don’t want to miss “the point”!

Why are Sunday nights out of vogue in most areas? It seems there are two streams of thought and both may be valid to a certain degree.

1) is the idea that we need to respect peoples investment of time in the church. That many families are pressured already for time and that demanding attendance on Sunday evening (or Wednesdays for that matter) is legalism.

2) the idea that we as a society have lost of zeal or desire for the Lord. We have become complacent and selfish. That our time has become an idol and that refusal to attend services other than Sunday morning is rebellion.

I’m sure there is a grain of truth on both sides. Personally, I do think that the Sunday evening service has value, if the congregates (people who attend) are blessed, encouraged, uplifted or otherwise find it a positive experience. I also understand that many people who were “forced” to be a church “whenever the doors were open” can recent what they see as an unscriptural restriction on their freedom.

Truth: Sunday night services or midweek services for that matter are not ordained by divine mandate. Scripturally, the examples of the early church showed anywhere from daily meetings for prayer and encouragement to weekly meetings “on the Lord’s day”.

In the end, I believe it is a heart matter. What blesses you or your church? What seems to be effective in your community? Where do you place the most value in your personal life?

I’m sure there is a lot more I should say. Maybe I should be more spiritual or less legalistic. Maybe I’ve left too much up for personal choice and not enough clear mandate. Sorry, but I’m at the coffee store being interrupted by ladies of “older persuasion” who are ogling over my baby. All the while, I am trying to type something that I’ve been pondering without really, trying to flesh it out deeply!

So agree or disagree put in your two cents …

I wanted to take time to Praise the Lord! I have to be careful to not brag or be prideful, but I still want to give honor where honor is due.

You see, by some definitions I pastor a growing Mega Church. No, not be all definitions, but by some. I know that by popular definition the title of Mega Church is usually reserved for congregations over 2,000 in attendance. We sadly have not reached that point yet at Critz Church of God. However, I remember one statistic (I couldn’t find it written down anywhere so you’ll have to take my word for it! , that statistic from back in the hay day of Church Growth was that a healthy thriving church has at least 20% of it’s population in attendance.

I did find some “rules” on growth that seemed support that, but who really cares? Let’s look at the numbers:

The best statistics that I could find stated that the population of Critz, VA is approximately 275. I’m sure that’s people, because cattle and deer especially would be much higher, plus they don’t generally attend church! So that means that 20% of the population of Critz would be approximately 54 people. Currently, we are averaging … drum roll please … right around 50-55 people! We had 98 on Easter and we have been in the high 70%’s several times since then!

If I were a competitive personality I would try to do the math and research to see how we compare to other COG’s in the state, but it really doesn’t matter does it? I really wouldn’t want to embarrass pastor’s who are trying with all their might to build a church, but are stuck at a lesser percentage. I mean it’s not their fault that there are so many people in the Tidewater or Richmond or Winchester is it? They shouldn’t be made to feel inferior because they are statistically at the right percentage mark, should they?

We are just fortunate enough to be in an area where there are fewer people so therefore there is less pressure to have the right numbers to qualify as successful. I truly feel sorry for pastors who have all those thousands and even hundreds of thousands of people who live in their communities/towns/cities. They do their best, but they struggle to get maybe a paltry 1% of their perspective population!

I want to be clear in view of our obvious statistical success (and in light of my blog concerning success from two days ago) that I feel that some of those pastors as mentioned above, that may have only reached a paltry percentage of their potential population, should not be discriminated against for only having 700 – 1,500 in attendance. I am sure that these men and women are doing their best to get their percentages up! We should all pray, encourage and not judge those churches and ministers who are statistically challenged!

Forest for the trees

So how do we define success within our churches? I’m at Camp meeting and I couldn’t help but wonder. You see for all my years of ministry and life in the church it seems it is always the men who pastor larger churches or whose churches are experiencing numeric growth that we honor. These are the men and women who are asked to preach or who are interviewed.

So I must draw the conclusion that numeric success is what matters or even financial success. I know that we say we value spiritual maturity and inner growth, but have we ever seen a pastor of a small church in the middle of nowhere honored or asked to share how he has been able to disciple, love, minister too and maintain a congregation of 45 that can barely pay their bills?

I hope this doesn’t sound bitter, because I’m not. Nor ignorant because I really do “get” the reason for asking pastor’s who are seeing growth numerically to preach or share. I have made my peace with God on this issue. I do not understand why, but I do know that my years of service in smaller congregations have been accounted as a work of righteousness for the Lord. However, it is not myself that I am concerned about here. It is the other pastors and ministers like myself that will never be recognized for the many years and even decades of service in certain areas, because the numbers never grew or worst yet they even shrunk!

How many of our ministers leave state meetings each year discouraged not because they weren’t “chosen” to speak, but rather because they read the unwritten signs that tell them that maybe they weren’t worthy. Maybe they struggle with the idea that they never will be worthy. No they are not told this in so many words, but it is suggested nonetheless.

And yes, I understand why it might be beneficial to learn from those who are experiencing growth or economic success. I just wonder…

Is it possible that a church can never grow out of a certain size congregation and yet still have success? If so why do we not see those pastors given an opportunity to speak at camp meeting or enter into state or national leadership?

If size does matter… at what point does lack of growth indicate lack of success? When is a church and pastor of 1,500 failing if the church plateaus and never moves beyond that point? What about Jim Jones he could really draw a crowd!

I don’t want to settle for mediocrity nor do I think we ought to accept a false standard. I don’t want to deny the success of men and women whose ministries are flourishing numerically and/or financially. But I also don’t want to fall into a trap or “preferring my brother” or using a false standard on others or myself.

How do you define success?

Tinted

Who could complain?

I’m not gripping, but it is a state of reality for me. Even after having what some might consider a “normal” nights sleep, I’m still exhausted. I just paid $4 for a piece of pound cake! Freshman error! I saw it, it looked good and I gave in. It’s not a sin, but it is 1/3 of a bag of good coffee beans, and when your pinching your pennies…
I mean she is a beautiful girl and I have a wonderful family. It is definitely worth it!
Hopefully, in the next few days I will adjust to a more “normal” routine and have wonderful insights to espouse upon, but until then…

Lil sis is watching

[caption id="attachment_447" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Mac daddy and daughter"][/caption]

Well…She’s here!
I would love to say that I have some very deep and philosophical thoughts for tonight’s blog, but …No! Actually, I feel like my brain is mush! It’s bad enough having all of the stress of last week, then the high emotions of joy and relief and the desperate roller coaster of contradictory feelings of adoption. Then to top it all off are the night time feedings.

If you’ve been there, then you know. If you haven’t then trust me when I tell you I’m drained. If you’d like to see more pictures of our new family you can check me out on Face book. I’ll try to be more coherent later, but until then …….

Signs, Signs, everywhere are signs!

Saw this “sign” in the bathroom of a theater.

We took a mini vacation to “find ourselves”/reconnect pamper ourselves selfishly, et. al.

We took in a movie and finally saw “wolverine” it was action packed, very dark! Had dinner at P.F. Changs, which will probably be the first of many! WOW! that’s what chinese is suppose to taste like! Then we headed back to the hotel with memories of old friends swimming in our heads! We had several years of teachers conferences in the same conference center. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ride those elevators without thinking of our former principal …

After a wonderful evening of selfish indulgence, we retreated to the hot tub and pool area. Ah, blissfully empty except for a dad and two daughters who are definitely Indian. We have kept to “the rules” pretty well. We only mentioned Jackson or the adoption in passing. We briefly flirted with the topic of church & personal financial concerns, but only briefly. I admit those things are on my mind a fair amount. Not to the point of worry or obsession, but ever present as an object of prayer. After realizing that “heated pool” was a relative term we joined the trio in the hot tub.

They were gracious and it was one of those thirty something size tubs so there was plenty of room. Suspicions were soon confirmed that our fellow guests were not only of Indian decent, but from India! It turns out that father and children were recently reacquainted. The girls had been in the states with their mother who was recovering from a complicated pregnancy. Dad was here to bring his wife, three children and new addition home to India! After we found out this information it became readily apparent that this chance meeting was not as random as we thought. Here is an excerpt from the conversation that followed:

Indian Gentleman: “Are you familiar with The Church of God?”
Me: “Uhm, yes we attend a Church of God…”
Indian Brother: “How are things going in your church?”
Me: “We’re kinda small and the economy is hitting us pretty hard. Our area outside of Martinsville, VA has been struggling with out sourcing and closing plants for years. This economy is just making things worst. How are things in India?”
Indian Brother: “I am the state overseer of one state in India. We are suffering under persecution. Many of our pastors have been beaten and arrested. One of them was cut (he shows me a line along the full length of his torso) from here to here. We run an orphanage / school where many of their children live and attend, because of the troubles and also there are no schools where these men preach.”
Me: “We will pray for you and your pastors!”

It reminded me. Shook me, may be a better word. My “struggles” are real. Many churches and many more families are having difficulties. But it reminded me of the writers exhortation/correction/rebuke in Hebrews (paraphrased) “You haven’t suffered to the point of pouring out your blood like Christ, yet! Have you?”

None of this takes away from the troubles and struggles that we all face in life, but I needed mine placed in perspective. Better yet, I needed my perspective changed.

This brother was not only struggling through the absence of his family and being separated from them in a possibly life threatening birth situation with his newest child. He was also ministering to men and women who were literally being beaten and tortured. He was ministering to and keeping safe the children of other men, all the while his own family and life were just as at risk. He was doing it joyfully and with great purpose. He was taking his family back to India. Yes there had been struggles, trials, but he hadn’t suffered to the degree that Christ had, had he? There was still work to be done. Still lost souls to reach. Still time until the Master returns, before an accounting of time and talents must be given.

Yep, some signs are easier to read. This one was pretty clear. I hope it speaks just as loudly to you!

(pardon grammatical errors, I don’t have time to proof today!)

We had an awesome time Sunday and Monday on our little get-a-way! We figured it up and to our shame it had been over a year since Kristen and I had had anytime just to ourselves. We needed it! The BIG RULE … don’t talk about kids, church or work! For the most part we succeeded except where discussing one or the other helped debrief and refocus on the Lord.

Kristen asked me on the way home what I enjoyed most, although my answer was cheeky then, when I look back I realized that I was able to laugh! Don’t get me wrong, I have a good sense of humor. With some of the friends we have I wouldn’t survive without it. But what was most special was that we found ourselves laughing sometimes at the silliest stuff. It was nice and I really needed that!

Today, the schedule is still here. As I reflect back and write my phone has been buzzing and beeping with messages and reminders. I still have to prepare notes for a meeting later in the week that is really intimidating! I have to hit the road this afternoon to go get a load of food from the Food Bank and pick up my son. We still have to finish prepping and painting the babies room!

Did I mention that the “little rascal” has been trying to make an early exit? There may not be any Hays’ blood, but the kid already can’t stand to be late and likes to be in control! If that ain’t a sign!

So Sunday and Monday were not about escaping … but reconnecting, reaffirming, reestablishing the best/most important and critical friendship/relationship that I have except for the Lord. It was about reminding each other who we love, depend on and cherish! With the Lord and my wife by my side, none of the “opportunities” above seem daunting! Anything and everything is possible!

If you will allow me to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong (or maybe it does) for just a minute. To my friends and family. Many of you are focused on your jobs, ministry, church or children. You believe that these things are important maybe even MOST important because they allow you to be. They allow you to have the family you do, the home you do, the life you do, but I have news for you. If you focus on the job and work and work and work, but loose your family what do you have? If you focus on the kids and give to them, support them and spend all your energy on them, but loose your spouse what do you really have? If you focus all your time and energies on your ministry or church work (after all it’s for God isn’t it?), and loose your spouse and children what have you gained?

The bible says that we are to be one flesh with our wife/husband. It also says what do you have if you gain the whole world but loose your soul? If you loose your spouse, if you don’t invest in that relationship that came first, if you don’t love, cherish and support the first relationship that HE entrusted you with …

there will be no family,
there will be no job,
there will be no ministry,
there will be no church,
there will be no life,
there won’t even be a complete you!

Quit being selfish! Invest in your husband/wife, rekindle that love! Learn to be a giver and not just a taker in your marriage! Quit thanking that doing for the kids is the same as doing for your spouse! Put first things, first! Remember your wedding vows and then live up to them on your part! If you live up to your part I can promise the Lord will honor it!

In the words of Forrest Gump, “That’s all I got to say about that!”
Amen!