Posted by: critzpastor | March 17, 2009

Why are we adopting?

Family Life Services

Family Life Services


I’m not sure I’m in the right frame of mind for this. I really don’t want to come across as being bitter, but we get asked this question a lot. No not in so many words, but in questioning looks, in “probing” questions and insinuations. A lot of times these come from friends and family.

So why are we adopting? Let me redirect, much as Jesus often did, and ask you, “Why aren’t you?” I mean for those who call themselves Christians, especially if you are the type of Christian that claims to read their Bible regularly, if not even daily. It seems to me in a cursory reading of scripture that the Bible has a lot to say about taking care of the needy specifically orphans. Yes, it is true that giving, if you actually do give any significant amount, does help orphans, widows and the needy in their plight. But can any intellectual really believe that money can replace or substitute for family? No, I don’t think so. So, why?

I will speak for me and let my wife Kristen speak, if she so chooses in the future for herself. I will tell you that the idea of adopting seemed to be much easier for her, almost natural. For me, not so much. We realized, after we had been married for about 5 years, that pregnancy was not going to be easily achieved. Then after some very preliminary steps with a fertility specialist, Kristen became pregnant with our first child! We were in Heaven! She took a test as soon as there seemed to be a possibility and then went to the doctor. He confirmed and we told everyone we knew! It was so awesome, until I was away on a trip and she began to bleed. Our first child died in a miscarriage and we were shattered.

During that very painful time we received some advise from wise friends that contradicted the doctor. He told us to wait for 6 weeks after the DNC before trying to get pregnant again. However, two different friends told us almost literally, “Now or Never”! They explained that the process seemed to “reset the biological clock”. So we listened to our friends and less than two months later Kristen was pregnant again, without the use of fertility medicine. Our miracle child was on the way!

That was almost 10 years ago to this day. Jackson is still a miracle! Since that time we have learned that Kristen has PCOS, and that it was the hormonal imbalance that kept her and would keep her from having children. She has been being treated for several years now and it seems that her body is “coming in line” and that the situation could eventually be corrected. For that we are so grateful and we recognize how great God is!

Now back to my original answer. I was happy with our miracle child! I was happy with our family! I knew that Kristen still desired to have more children, but it seemed that that decision was out of our control. Enough said, right? Well, obviously not, because God began to stir in me one simple question. Let me digress and say that again, “God began to stir in me …” I don’t know how the Lord speaks to you my friend, but I have found that if you will listen, He always speaks to you in a way that You understand.

The question God put to me was a simple one, but it was wrapped in a strong sense of foreboding. Not an angry, I’m going to sap you type foreboding. But a deep reflective reverent look yourself and God in the face and answer honestly type foreboding. Like a finger thumping me in the chest and a steely presence I heard two words, “WHY NOT?”

Why not adopt? What reasons do I have to look a homeless, lost, hurting, child in the eyes and explain why I can’t adopt. What reasons do I have to tell a loving Heavenly Father that the provision he has given to me and my family isn’t enough to help, bless and sustain one more member…

I had no answer. Our family wasn’t “full”. Our pockets weren’t empty. Our life wasn’t uncompromisingly difficult. I had no reason to deny to another, what God in his infinite love and mercy has freely offered to me, adoption!

I cannot explain to you now, the love, excitement and anxious expectancy that has settled in my heart and within each member of our family. God has truly prepared us for our new family member! His daughter, that he will be entrusting to us in 10 or so short weeks!

So, why aren’t you adopting? If God is in it, are any of those concerns truly legitimate? Is there anything that He cannot overcome to help you fulfill His will in taking care of the widows and orphans? Maybe you do have a legitimate situation that prevents you from offering yourself and your family, then pray and give in some other way. But if not, which one of his precious little ones is patiently waiting for you and your family to trust the Lord and invite them to come home for good?

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Responses

  1. Fantastic, relfective writing. I am so excited for your family. All I know is that in 10 weeks… I WANT PICS!! 🙂

  2. I guarantee that there will be pictures galore!

  3. 10 weeks! it seems like forever but i hope it goes by fast!

    im happy for you two. very exciting! what a blessed little one to have a family now 🙂


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